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#avoidantattachment means a drive to be seen as a hero and a tendency to minimize, deflect, or blame to avoid being seen as a vulnerable real human. #reactive attachment is super vigilant to these shenanigans and sees them as preventing connection and indication of being unknown, alone, and not trusted. The avoidant needs to #attune to themselves, notice and accept their doing anything to avoid being witnessed as vulnerable, and risk going toward the other person with their own I-statements and

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